I hate when I want to run errands but I’m completely too lazy to leave the house. Get off the couch Andy and get outside.
Or just stay here and lay on the couch.
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Every time I go to this particular Get-Go gas station someone chats me up, but today was the worst. I began my transaction when this kid pulls in. He looked to be in his early 20’s and had business gear on. I paid no mind to him because I kept thinking about the following:
- I had to go to the bathroom
- I was thirsty
- I was tired
All of the sudden I hear this guy start talking to me. Now luckily he (not luckily for me) caught me in a good mood. He asked me if I lived in this area and I told him no that I lived near downtown. He said I, “had a familiar face and he thought he knew me.” I told him I got that a lot from people and in my mind I’m thinking, “what kind of game is this cat trying to run?” Note I never trust no one. My mind is a mix of a Dateline special and a Lifetime movie so no one is coming after me.
I was trying to text a friend about a party I was attending tomorrow and he started asking about my iPhone and if I liked it so far. He caught me off guard with that and we chatted about the iPhone for a few minutes (smart move on his part thinking back to this).
Then he asked what I did. I told him I worked in sales and I kept thinking to myself, “Why does my gas tank have to be this empty? When will this click so I can go?”
He then asked me about Pittsburgh and if I wanted to live here longterm. I explained my thoughts on the city and still waited for the tank to fill.
Then it started to get weird. He goes, “Are you married?” Clearly I’m not wearing a ring and I said, “No, I’m not.”
Then he asked me if I had kids!!! I’m thinking to myself like who is this random dude at the gas station playing 20 questions with me?!?!?!?!
Finally, after all of this crap he goes, “Obviously we’re getting along very well. If you’re looking to expand your opportunities, here is my business card.”
I am looking at this kid and I don’t know what to say. I’m thinking, am I being asked out by some rando or is this kid trying to get my a job with him?
So as soon as I went home I hopped right on the computer and started Googling away. This prick works for a company that basically sells Amway products and is basically one of those pyramid schemes. Every time I searched for a product he sold, the word “Scam” pulled up beside it in Google, C’mon now…. Crazier thing is though is that I pulled his profile up on Facebook and we have a friend in common- crazy.
That kid really used all his sales tricks he learned in what I’m sure was some book on tape he listened to about “making the sale”. See this is why I don’t like people. Period. And this is also why I don’t like to go out in public. People just love to talk to me. But I don’t like to talk to them.
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If I’m about to get a little bump and grind, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wear some underwear that have Adidas written all over the place. That’s almost as bad as that Joe Boxer nonsense.
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If you don’t want people to know you’re out and about Chelsea Clinton, don’t wear a hat the size of the planet Saturn on your head to the Vera Wang store.
Fullery, plain fullery.
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Smile Friday.
I’m smiling because I’m about to take a nap.
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Stay Together- Jennifer Lopez
Ever since I read that La Diva Latina would be the new judge on Idol, I’ve had her
horriblesongs stuck in my head.Deep down inside I hope she performs on every elimination episode. -
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Kara DioGuardi Out, Jennifer Lopez In.
I will definitely be watching American Idol this season. Also joining the judges panel, Steven Tyler.
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fffriends:(via stephaniellenthomson)
6x19 TOW Joey’s Fridge
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Jason Mraz- You and I Both (Live at Pepsi Smash)
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Britney is still my favorite Big Brother 12 houseguest. These other people are complete messes.
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- Boss: Are you an only child?
- Me: Yes. I have two older stepbrothers, but I don't count them.
- Boss: Ah, that's why.
- Me: ....
- Boss walks away...
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People At the Gym Do Crazy Things.
I knew going to a public gym that I’d see some sights and today I saw a great one.
So I finished my workout and headed toward the locker room. In this gym you have to kind of go through two sets of doors, which has a long hallway in between to get to the actually lockers. I opened the second door and saw a man standing in front of the mirror. Normal right? Well I kept walking forward toward my locker and I noticed he was using the blow dryer, again normal right? I’ve used the blow dryer there, so I wasn’t bothered by his actions.
What I didn’t mention above is that he was blow drying his pubic hair. Now I can’t tell you the shock I was in first to see this 60 some year old dude drying his nut sack in front of all of these strangers, but then the clean freak in me was like, “um that’s a public blow dryer and you’re putting that straight onto your junk.” What was he thinking? They give you towels, as many as you want, just use that to dry off. Shake it dry, I don’t know, something.
I think I’m going to buy dude a razor because let’s be honest, if he’d trim the trees he wouldn’t have to worry about this issue at all.
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I think I wear the same outfit every Thursday.
